Bills

WHEREAS succession to the Somewhat Battered Throne of Talossa is governed according to the House Law of the House and Dynasty of Madison (dated 11 February 1989 and published with the March, 1989 Clark); and
WHEREAS the current House Law designates that, in the absence of any legal heirs of the current Monarch, that the Throne shall pass (in the case of his demise or abdication) to the other descendants of Harry L. Madison, the King's father; and
WHEREAS this principle means that Jennifer L. Madison, the King's sister, is currently the Heir Apparent to the Talossan Throne; but
WHEREAS Jennifer has never demonstrated any interest in inheriting the Throne, the Ziu hereby amends Article 5 of the House Law to read as follows;
"In default of a successor entitled to the Crown by virtue of the three preceding articles, the King may designate his successor by public letter to the Ziu, to be ratified thereby through a two-thirds majority.
"If such appointed successor of the King shall have died before the King, his descendants shall take his place..." [Remainder of article unchanged.]

Withdrawn for inorganicity.

WHEREAS the Organic Law confers full autonomy upon provinces which have been certified by the Ziu; and
WHEREAS the the Governemnt of the Province of Florenciâ has effectively defaulted; and
WHEREAS Florenciâ has nearly no provincially active citizens;
THEREFORE the Ziu votes herewith to remove the Certification of Florenciâ Province.

WHEREAS most people do not know that the third Millennium of the Christian, or civil, calendar does not begin on 1 January 2000, but 1 January 2001; and
WHEREAS this confusion has taken places because there is no Year 0 (Zero) in the Christian calendar; and
WHEREAS we do not want to see a similar confusion among Talossan citizens about the Talossan calendar around the year MM;
THEREFORE the Ziu hereby resolves that:
1. The Talossan year XX will end on 31 December 1999 AD, and the year XXI shall therefore begin on 1 January 2000 AD.
2. All subsequent years of the Talossan calendar, i.e. after Year XX, shall henceforth begin on 1 January and end on 31 December.

3. All years prior to the founding of the Kingdom of Talossa, i.e. 1978 AD and before, shall also have begun on 1 January and ended on 31 December.

4. The year 1979 AD shall henceforth be known in the Talossan calendar as Year 0.

a) Notwithstanding Section 3, said Year 0 shall have begun on 1 January 1979 and ended on 25 December 1979.
b) Notwithstanding Sections 2 and 3, the years I to XIX shall continue to have begun on 26 December and ended on 25 December.

c) Notwithstanding Sections 2 and 3, Year XX shall continue to have begun on 26 December 1998 AD.


5. The method of numbering the years prior to the founding of the Kingdom of Talossa shall be numbered in a manner deemed suitable by future Act of Ziu.

6. The short title of this act shall be the Year Zero Act.

WHEREAS the Year Zero Act has provided for a method of numbering the years prior to the founding of the Kingdom of Talossa; and
WHEREAS the years after the founding are in Roman numerals; and
WHEREAS the years prior to the founding ought to be in a method contrasting the Roman system;
THEREFORE the Ziu hereby resolves that:
1. Section 5 of the Year Zero Act is hereby amended to read: The method of numbering the years prior to the founding of the Kingdom of Talossa shall be according to the classical Greek numeration system.

2. The following Schedule shall be appended to the Year Zero Act:

SCHEDULE A
The classical Greek numeration system was additive. The numbers 1-9 were represented by the letters Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, Epsilon, Digamma, Zeta, Eta, Theta. The numbers 10-90 were represented by the letters Iota, Kappa, Lambda, Mu, Nu, Xi, Omicron, Pi, Koppa. The numbers 100-900 were represented by the letters Rho, Sigma, Tau, Upsilon, Phi, Chi, Psi, Omega, Sampi. 1000 was represented by an Alpha with a stroke below and on its left, 2000 by a Beta with a stroke below and on its left, etc.

A number such as 1453 would have been represented as [stroke]Alpha Upsilon Nu Digamma.

See also a Classical Greek grammar at http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/cgi-bin/text?lookup=smyth+348&vers=english


3. If the Year Zero Act does not pass, this Act shall be null and void.

WHEREAS, in the 1997 version of this Act (The "You Are Where You Live Act, Part Deux" from November, 1997), Talossan citizens from some parts of California were assigned to Florencia province while others were assigned to Maricopa Province, and
WHEREAS, this split-state treatment of California has been confusing and has caused the inadvertent reassignment of Ken Oplinger from Maricopa (the province he founded) to Florencia, and
WHEREAS, we seek to unite (or isolate) all Californian-Talossans in their natural home province of Maricopa, and
WHEREAS, it is more convenient for future users of this bill to refer to a single, undivided text of this bill rather than flip back and forth between the March '99 and November '97 Clarks:
THEREFORE the Ziu of the great nation of Talossa hereby declares null and void the text of the original "You Are Where You Live Act, Part Deux" from November, 1997, and replaces it with the following text, bearing in mind that the only change is in the assignment of citizens from northern California: That prospective Talossan citizens who live in Canada and the U.S. states of Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont will be assigned to Kemâl Atatürk Province (KA); and
That prospective Talossan citizens who live in the U.S. states of Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Michigan, Ohio, and Pennsylvania will be assigned to Mussolini Province (MU); and
That prospective Talossan citizens who live in the U.S. states of Connecticut, Delaware, Maryland, New Jersey, and New York will be assigned to the Province of Vuode (VD); and
That prospective Talossan citizens who live in the U.S. states of Arizona, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Texas, Hawaii, and California will be assigned to Maricopa Province (MA); and
That prospective Talossan citizens who live in the U.S. states of Alaska, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Nevada, Utah, Colorado, North Dakota, South Dakota, Minnesota, Kansas, and Nebraska will be assigned to the Province of Florenciâ (FL); and
That prospective Talossan citizens who live in the U.S. states of Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and the District of Columbia, will be assigned to the Province of Maritiimi-Maxhestic (MM); and
That the current Cybercit assignments for Cézembre will continue as they are currently; and
That no persons will be assigned to the Territory of Pengöpäts; and
That citizens whose citizenship bills are currently before the Ziu will be assigned according to this law if they are approved by the Ziu.

WHEREAS two days before his forced and unjust exile, Zog, King of the Albanians, welcomed into the world his only son; and
WHEREAS this child, Leka Zogu, has until two years ago been in exile in the Republic of South Africa, where he his passport and diplomatic immunity have been revoked; and
WHEREAS the Kingdom of Talossa believes in monarchy in all places, especially in the Ancient Home of Skanderbeg;
THEREFORE this Kingdom of Talossa lends its Invincible Moral Support(tm) to the rightful King of the Albanians, Leka, and expresses its wishes that His Majesty return to the Eagle Throne as soon as possible. Long Live King Leka!

WHEREAS the Cestoûrs having gotten through a failed impreachment, have turned their minds to other things; and
WHEREAS the youngest Cestoûrs watch a certain television programme, known as the Teletubbies; and
WHEREAS the Reverend Jerry Falwell has thundered from his pulpit the divine revelation that Teletubby Tinky-Winky is homosexual; and
WHEREAS this pronouncement is bothering Cestoûr parents, who are concerned; and
WHEREAS they are showing their concern in bothersome and noisy ways; and
WHEREAS we need to show our Cestoûr subjects we have their general welfare in mind; and
WHEREAS no one knows which divinity has vouchsafed the Reverend Falwell this revelation;
THEREFORE the Ziu hereby asks His Majesty the King to appoint a Royal Teletubby Sexual Orientation Determination Commission, also to be familiarly known as the Noo-Noo Commission, to consist of four commissioners, Domnul Tað, Domnul

WHEREAS occasionally it becomes necessary for the PM to have a guy that will actually do something required by law; and
WHEREAS it may not be expedient to have a Cabinet Minister take on the task;
THEREFORE the Ziu creates the Office of the Commissioner of the Civil Service. The Commissioner will be appointed by the Prime Minister, and be a non-partisan position akin to the IM and the SoS. Don't ever say that nobody in Talossa does anything.

WHEREAS some Vuodeans have decided that, even though they may like the possibility of having a non-Ben King, they'd still like a Ben Viscount;
THEREFORE the Ziu orders a referendum to co-incide with the next Clark, to decide the following change of the 1997 Organic Law: "That in Article III, Section 3, the phrase 'Viscount of Vuode' will be deleted."; and
THEREFORE the title of Viscount of Vuode will, with the passage of this bill and the referendum reside in the person of Ben Madison outside his position as King; and
THEREFORE since the title is Vuodean, the Ziu sends it back to Vuode, so they can lop Ben's head off if they feel like it. Whatever. It's up to them, because We Like Provinces(tm).

WHEREAS the Province of Atatürk currently has no regularly-constituted form of government, and no identifiable provincial leadership; and
WHEREAS Art. XVI:Sec. 13. of the Organic Law of the Kingdom of Talossa grants the Federal Government the right to intervene in any "uncertified" province to suppress disorder and secure the blessings of liberty to it and its posterity, etc.;
THEREFORE the Ziu of Talossa hereby establishes direct, central rule of Atatürk Province under the direction of the Prime Minister, who shall appoint Tomás Gariçéir as Military Governor of Atatürk Province, to restore order in the Province and assist its people in writing a constitution and restoring internal democracy at the earliest feasible opportunity.

WHEREAS the Kingdom of Talossa established "relations" with the micronation of Porto Claro in October, 1996 (RC 40); and
WHEREAS Porto Claro has since broken up into at least three competing factions and/or split-offs, each with some degree of legitimacy;
THEREFORE the Ziu hereby pronounces that RC 40 is null and void, and that Talossa has no formal relations with any of the Porto Claro successor states; and
FURTHERMORE that the Kingdom of Talossa expresses its thanks and gratitude to the non-Aguiar Porto Claro successor state called the "Kingdom of Porto Claro", which has on several occasions dealt with Talossa on a kind and generous basis of mutual respect worthy of a sovereign nation.

WHEREAS the Kingdom of Talossa established "relations" with a micronation calling itself "Mowameddo" in December of 1997 (RZ 28); and
WHEREAS there has been absolutely no contact whatsoever with this group since they were "recognized", and they may in fact no longer exist; and
WHEREAS the Kingdom of Talossa clearly derives no objective benefit from retaining this dead-letter "recognition" on its statutes;
THEREFORE the Ziu hereby pronounces that RZ 28 of December 1997 is repealed.

WHEREAS according to the researches of The Berber Project, the last surviving Talossan Berber population in the Greater Talossan Area was the shadowy and mysterious Mascouten Tribe, who lived in the Milwaukee area until 1759 or thereabouts; and
WHEREAS the entire Mascouten tribe was broken up by 1815 and assimilated into various other tribes, including the Miami Indians of Indiana; and
WHEREAS Citizen Brent Kesler of Talossa is of Miami (and therefore possibly Mascouten) descent;
THEREFORE the Ziu hereby grants an official charter to "The Mascouten Tribe Of Indians," as a private organization under the direction of R. Ben Madison, to pursue Talossa's Native American and Berber migrant heritage.

WHEREAS the overwhelming majority of Talossan citizens have no use or care for the bathtubbia antics and pretensions of the silly micronations out there --- beyond an encouraging sense of "we're been there, you too can succeed as a serious micronation" grounded in Talossa's historical founding in a Milwaukee teenager's bedroom; and
WHEREAS a vocal and influential minority of the Talossan Establishment (whatever that might be) violently opposes any and all contact with serious micronations out there, namely those exploring notions of "nationality" as created or (to paraphrase Benedict Anderson's book and concept of the same name) "imagined communities" and the hobby of "playing country"; and
WHEREAS the intellectual debate between those Talossans in the prior and other Talossans (whose interests in serious micronations are similar to how individual photography, gaming, conlang, and other hobby groups are often curious about other like groups due to a desire to learn from their ideas and expand their hobby's horizons) has oftentimes grown heated and intense and thereby shifted energies away from the teleological growth of Talossan institutions of government, culture, language, and society onto irrelevant viciousness about the meaning of Talossan "patriotism" as either "orthodoxy" or "diversity"; and
WHEREAS a "micronation" or a "nationette" or an "imagined community" or a micropatrological entity (all of which describes Talossa in broad terms of "we know it when we see it") ought to be Self-, and not Other-, legitimizing; that is, ought to be and is respected due to its domestic institutions, culture, and people;
THEREFORE the Ziu resolves that a "Semi-Permeable Wall" ought to be and is the Official External Policy of the Kingdom of Talossa. Specifically, 1. the Ziu stipulates that all official micronational diplomatic recognitions by the Government of Talossa, whether by legislation, executive fiat, or implicit policy, are hereby withdrawn and disavowed in the spirit of goodwill and friendship that they were initially offered; and
2. the Ziu stipulates by statute that the Government of Talossa will have no relations with any micronation in any form; and

3. the Ziu requests that the Prime Minister thank the Micronational Affairs Minister for his time, efforts, and service to the Kingdom, and then close that Ministry as contrary to the wishes of the Talossan people as expressed through their elected representatives; and

4. the Ziu requests that the Prime Minister thank his Envoys and Ambassadors, including his representative to the League of Secessionist States (L.O.S.S.), for their time, efforts, and service to the Kingdom, and then close all official micronational contacts, including Talossan membership in L.O.S.S.; and

5. the Ziu stipulates that no part of this Act is intended to limit the free speech and assembly rights of or discriminate against any and all Talossan citizens to privately associate with any individual of their own choosing, including citizens of other micronations.

WHEREAS Talossa's secession from the United States of America on 26 December 1979 was a formal declaration of personal autonomy and the basis of a successful community, and not a Republic of Texas / Montana Freeman / Kurdistan -style declaration of intent to use violent means to establish a "truly sovereign" (if such is possible in globalized world characterized by the IMF, Citibank, Mitsubishi, etc.) nation-state, free of any and all external jurisdictional control; and
WHEREAS the job of the Foreign Minister is to maintain diplomatic communication with "real countries" if such relations are ever realized; and
WHEREAS a it is the overwhelming opinion of the Talossan people that Talossa ought not be in the business of seeking such diplomatic relations, but ought to be about "playing country" on the basis of a community of people freely entered into; and
WHEREAS the Organic Law stipulates, among others, the assignment t of the Foreign Minister portfolio in each and every Cabinet; and
WHEREAS unlike other portfolios stipulated in the Organic Law, the Foreign Minister position has become by custom a titular position without purpose, awarded as a prize of political patronage;
THEREFORE the Ziu authorizes the Office of the Secretary of State, at the immediate passage of this Act, to conduct a referendum of the people of Talossa for the purposes of amending the Organic Law. The referendum will read: "Do you wish the Organic Law to be rid of the requirement that a Foreign Minister be named in each and every Cabinet, so that such may become a discretionary position and prerogative of the Prime Minister? ("yes" to eliminate requirement; "no" to keep requirement)"

The appropriate sections of the Organic Law will be listed for voter reference.

WHEREAS the majority of the Kingdom of Talossa's inhabitants are the Cestoûrs, who are members of the American culture; and
WHEREAS in American culture, the majority of social problems - e.g. teen pregnancy, school overcrowding, abusive relationships, and so on - are caused by one thing: people having children that they don't want and/or can't care for; and
WHEREAS so far not a single American national politician has the balls to come out in support of the one thing that could singificantly reduce the cause of these problems, and only one American state has approved of this solution;
THEREFORE the Kingdom of Talossa approves and legalizes the so-called "morning-after pill" for over-the-counter sale within our borders. That is, as soon as we run the place.

WHEREAS according to LZ31 of July 1998 the Kingdom of Talossa established diplomatic relations with the so-called micronation of Triparia; and
WHEREAS Talossa has decided it is not a "micronation";
THEREFORE the Ziu hereby repeals LZ31 of July 1998 and ends any and all official and formal relations with Triparia.

WHEREAS the Province of Maricopa currently has no regularly-constituted form of government, and no identifiable provincial leadership; and
WHEREAS Art. XVI:Sec. 13. of the Organic Law of the Kingdom of Talossa grants the Federal Government the right to intervene in any "uncertified" province to suppress disorder and secure the blessings of liberty to it and its posterity, etc.;
THEREFORE the Ziu of Talossa hereby establishes direct, central rule of Maricopa Province under the direction of the Prime Minister, who shall appoint Albrec'ht Stolfi as Military Governor of Maricopa Province, to restore order in the Province and lead it forward into constitutional democracy once again.

WHEREAS the Kingdom of Talossa established "relations" with a micronation calling itself "Reunion" in July of 1998 (RZ 33); and
WHEREAS there has been absolutely no contact whatsoever with this group since they were "recognized", and they may in fact no longer exist; and
WHEREAS the Kingdom of Talossa clearly derives no objective benefit from retaining this dead-letter "recognition" on its statutes;
THEREFORE the Ziu hereby pronounces that RZ 33 of July 1998 is repealed.