Bills

WHEREAS the official ethnic cuisine of the Kingdom of Talossa is Taco Bell; but
WHEREAS there is no fully functional (i.e. all-you-can-drink-soda equipped) Taco Bell within the bounds of the Kingdom of Talossa; and
WHEREAS Talossans in growing numbers have been eating at the Z-Teca Mexican Grill at the corner of Oakland and Kenwood in Atatürk Province, in an effort to experience something akin to the National Cuisine without the added inconvenience of having to cross the border into the United States;
THEREFORE the Ziu hereby assigns the Z-Teca chain the status of "Honorary Taco Bell" and proclaims that eating at Z-Teca fulfills one's ethnic obligations if eating at Taco Bell is inconvenient or otherwise prohibitive, and highly recommends their burritos in emergency situations.

WHEREAS the so-called "Kingdom of Triparia" used the recent inadvertent shutdown of Wittenberg 3 to launch a barrage of attacks on the Kingdom of Talossa, denouncing Talossa on its discussion group for not being sufficiently "involved and vital" in the stupid world of imaginary bug nations;
WHEREAS the same group claimed that the inadvertent shutdown of Wittenberg 3 must have been due to King Robert's supposed "fantasy" about having Talossa "fully... cut off from the rest of the 'world',"; and
WHEREAS these hostile comments went entirely unrefuted by anyone in "Triparia," thus clearly demonstrating the hostility and ill-will which everyone in this plagiarist group feels for Talossa;
THEREFORE the Ziu hereby repeals LZ31 of July 1998 and renounces any and all official and formal "relations" with the so-called "Triparia," and wishes whatever "Triparians" are obsessed with Talossa's affairs to GET A LIFE--or if their own micronation is so hideously boring that they have to leech off of us, we encourage them to chuck it and join Talossa!

WHEREAS some of the citizens of Talossa are cybercits, who do not reside, physically, within the domains of the Talossan Kingdom;
WHEREAS these cybercits are prevented from returning to the Talossan motherland, either by their anti-Talossan parents, wives, bosses, or simply by the governments of the nations in which they are exiled; and
WHEREAS it is unconceivable that any Talossan citizen would ever wish at free will to reside outside of the Talossan Area for a prolonged period;
THEREFORE the Ziu hereby states that all cybercits are actually Talossan exiles, residing outside of Talossa against their own free will and should be officially treated as such; and
THEREFORE the Talossan Government offers its moral support to those exiles, so they can bear with this suffering, in the hope that someday they will be able to return to the Päts.

WHEREAS Whitehouse intern Monica Lewinski has recently exposed the US Executive to a great deal of ridicule and scandal; and
WHEREAS in this act of bravery, Monica has clearly shown pro-Talossan feelings in her quest to weaken the American Government, making Clinton look worse than Dobberpuhl;
THEREFORE the Ziu decorates Monica Lewinsky with the Honorary "Silver Cigar" Medal, and officially enocourages her to consider applying for Talossan citizenship.

WHEREAS Talossa from its earliest days has had a perverse connexion with Albania; and
WHEREAS, As an expression of Albanian mini-nationalism, 30s Albanian dictator King Zog I introduced a special "Zog Salute," consisting of raising the right arm as if to make a 'fascist' salute but bending the elbow back across the chest with the palm downward; and
WHEREAS during his first Haxh to the Great Motherland in early 1998, Tomás Gariçéir introduced the "Zog Salute" to the people of mainland Talossa, where it received the appropriate guffaws and exclamations of disbelief; and
WHEREAS use of the "Zog Salute" has become popular as a jocular expression of bumptious nationalism for Talossa;
THEREFORE the Ziu hereby establishes the "Zog Salute" as the official salute of the Kingdom of Talossa and encourages its public display at all Talossan social functions.

WHEREAS there is widespread consensus in Talossa that the immigration laws of the country need to be made more flexible so that Talossa can experiment and find what combination of elements guarantees us the best possible quantity and quality of immigrants;
THEREFORE the Ziu hereby amends, and delivers to the Talossan people for their decision in a referendum, Article XVII of the Organic Law.
All of Article XVII of the Organic Law is hereby stricken, with the exception of the following articles retained or revised:
Art. XVII:Sec. 1. Talossan citizenship is only acquired through organic (legal) means. The exact procedure for naturalization shall be determined by law.

Art. XVII:Sec. 2. Residents of Talossan territory who are not Talossan citizens are considered "Cestoûrs" (indigenous persons) and are not entitled to participate in the political process of Talossa.

Art. XVII:Sec. 3. Any foreigner or Cestoûr who feels in his heart that he is Talossan may acquire Talossan citizenship by following the procedures of the citizenship law.

Art. XVII:Sec. 4. Pending any change in the citizenship law, the rules and procedures laid down in this Organic Law, as amended through the end of January, 1999, shall remain in force.

Art.XVII:Sections 5-8 are deleted. The rest of the article is unchanged, except for numbers

Art. XVII:Sec. 9 is renamed Art. XVII:Sec. 5

Art. XVII:Sec. 10 is renamed Art. XVII:Sec. 6

Art. XVII:Sec. 11. is renamed Art. XVII:Sec. 7.

Art. XVII:Sec. 12. is renamed Art. XVII:Sec. 8.

Art. XVII:Sec. 13. is renamed Art. XVII:Sec. 9.

Art. XVII:Sec. 14. is renamed Art. XVII:Sec. 10.

Art. XVII:Sec. 15. is renamed Art. XVII:Sec. 11.

WHEREAS loyal and hardworking Talossan citizen JON PECK has tirelessly administered, maintained, and improved the Wittenberg public discussion group(s) since taking over such from former Talossan citizen Charles Sauls in summer 1998; and
WHEREAS said citizen has done such as a private service to the Talossan nation, asking for no Government position or Royal honors in return; and
WHEREAS said citizen is a really swell guy;
THEREFORE the Ziu hereby acknowledges JON PECK's service to the growth and development of Talossa; and, recommends him to the Monarch for honors.

WHEREAS RC12 of March 1997 was passed by the Ziu 189-16; and
WHEREAS the Government still has not called for the Commission required by that Act; and
WHEREAS in any case the Commission certainly hasn't sat;
THEREFORE the Ziu orders the Government to abide by the orders in RC12 by 1 March 1999.
For the convenience of the Ziu RC12 is posted below:

"The Cosâ hereby instructs the Prime Minister (whoever that may be) to appoint a committee of Talossans living in and around the Kingdom to choose buildings on and around the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee campus, to serve as official sites for Talossa's various government ministries. These buildings can then be photographed and the pictures made available to the country's news organizations. In the event of the general collapse of Western civilization, the buildings themselves shall be slated for eventual takeover by the RT Government in the distant future when we've achieved a less ephemeral sovereignty."

WHEREAS Citizen Matthew Paul Dabrowski proposed to the People of Talossa, in their hallowed Wittenberg, using a Phrase in the National Language of the Kingdom, Talossa for His Majesty's Response to Bills sent to His Majesty from the Ziu of this Kingdom; and
WHEREAS His Majesty, speaking with His Royal Dignity and as Guru to Our Nation, added that He looked Upon this Suggestion with His Royal Favor;
THEREFORE His Majesty, when affixing His Royal Seal to Bills sent to him by this Ziu, may exclaim with all His Royal Royal-ness in the National Language of Our Nation, "El Regeu en volt."; and
THEREFORE His Majesty, when acting out His Constitutional and Traditional Duty to Protect the Citizens of His Kingdom from Poor Government, decides to Withhold His Royal Seal from said Bill sent by said Ziu, may exclaim with all His Truth-and-Justice-ness in said National Language of said Kingdom, "El Regeu non en volt."

WHEREAS the Government has the Organically-required positions of:

Prime Minister
Deputy Prime Minister
Defense Minister
Foreign Minister
Immigration Minister
Minister of Stuff; and

WHEREAS the following Ministries also do stuff:
- Minister of Micronational Affairs
- Culture Minister; and

WHEREAS we got all this, but we also got tons of relatively-useless Ministries and Deputies;
THEREFORE the Ziu affirms the Prime Minister's right to appoint Ministries at will, but requests the privilege of approving all non-Organically-required Ministries at their date of creation, and requests that, if the Ziu doesn't not approve them, the Prime Minister will retract their appointment; and
THEREFORE the Ziu requests that the Prime Minister only appoint Ministers that will actually do something, and not just make petty titles. The Ziu is committed to the responsible Government of the Kingdom. If a Minister has held this title for many years, the Ziu asks that the Prime Minister instead ask the King to honour the Minister with a Royal Award instead of a Ministry; and
THEREFORE the Ziu ALSO requests that the Prime Minister not appoint Deputies except where absolutely needed; and
ALSO if the Prime Minister does not appoint a Minister that would have to do a certain task, he or she may do it his or herself, in other words, all Ministries left vacant could be functionally held by the Prime Minister; and
LASTLY the Ziu requests that if the Prime Minister doesn't have to appoint a minister, he won't.

WHEREAS Talossans love parties; and
WHEREAS it's now 1999;
THEREFORE the Ziu authorizes Talossan citizens to "party like it's 1999", since it is and all; and
THEREFORE the Ziu ALSO pats itself on the back for its brilliant common sense; and
THEREFORE the Ziu ALSO condescends to allow Cestours to party as well.

This bill has been withdrawn by the proponent.

WHEREAS at one time or another the Prime Minister may need to have the Ziu to vote on any number of bills in between a Clark, or at times during a General Election when the Ziu may not be officially dissolved;
THEREFORE ththe Ziu resolves that the Prime Minister, by PD, may order the Secretary of State to call a vote on any number of bills, either specifically requested by the PM or simply in the queue for the next monthly Clark, in a Provisional Clark as follows:
This vote will begin no less than 2 and no more than 7 days after the PD has been issued, as specified by the PM, and may last up to two weeks, but may not wrap over to the time covered by the next monthly Clark. This Act may be invoked to vote on bills for any topic for any reason.

WHEREAS there has been a few noble attempts to clean up Talossan law libraries, including the Codification Act of May 1998; and
WHEREAS they haven't done much quite yet;
THEREFORE the Ziu ordains this new idea:
1. Create a web site of called the "Talossan Canon of Laws".
2. The web site will contain *every* act on the books in the History of Talossa, including appealed ones if we can get them from the Archives,
3. This site will also include Cort decisions, Royal proclamations, PDs, and all that.
4. This site will be organized into "Titles", for example:
- Title 1: Constitutions
- Title 2: Ministries and the Prime Minister
- Title 3: Territories and so on...
- Title n-3: PDs
- Title n-2: Cort Decisions
- Title n: Royal Proclamations

AND it would be cool if in the end all the laws could be looked up in indexes of authors, titles, and dates of passage, and cool stuff like that.

AND the Ziu hopes that this can be accomplished, because it could prove darn useful, so it asks the Secretary of State to take care of this. He or she can appoint whomever he or she pleases to do the work, too. It's a win-win situation.

AND if this works out, the Ziu ordains Canons to be founded for each Province.

WHEREAS I'm just a poor boy; and
WHEREAS nobody loves me; and
WHEREAS he's just a poor boy from a poor family; and
WHEREAS Queen, and I mean Min Jenny Pan, is now a Talossan citizen;
THEREFORE the Ziu authorizes the King or his appointee to design and hold an official coronation for our new yet not-new Queen; and
THEREFORE Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will she do the Fandango; and
LASTLY Thunderbolt and light'ning, very, very fright'ning me.

WHEREAS the Ziu is committed to a Cort of three Justices;
THEREFORE the Ziu would like to take the opportunity to commend the work of our Nation's highest judicial officers; and
THEREFORE the Ziu dissolves any commissions to study changing the make-up of the Uppermost Cort.

WHEREAS the Kingdom of Talossa and the Republic of Slovenia share an Independence Day, 26 December; and
WHEREAS the Prime Minister of Slovenia, Dr. Janez Drnovsek, looks like a James Bond villian, while Chris Gruber looks rather shifty to us; and
WHEREAS a few non-Talossan people think Talossan is a kinda freaky language with weird words and names, while the capital of Slovenia is Ljubljana; and
WHEREAS their are sundry other similarities and abzurd connections between the Kingdom of Talossa and the Republic of Slovenia;
THEREFORE the Ziu acknowledges, in its support of cultural inclusiveness, some strange connection between Talossa and Slovenia, even more faint than our connection to the Berbers; and
THEREFORE the Ziu acclaims its respect for all cultures and its undying support of the 20-year-old culture east of the River.

WHEREAS Walmart Stores Inc. of Bentonville, Arkansas, USA, maligned a Talossan citizen last December, just before Christmas and Independence Day; and
WHEREAS everybody has expressed sympathy for the citizen; and
WHEREAS Walmart Stores can ruin communities, and then means the possible loss of Taco Bells and Berber rug stores;
THEREFORE the Ziu proclaims Walmart Stores a "Fascist State" and asks Citizens to go to Target or K-Mart, or maybe even a real store instead.

WHEREAS there are many organizations, whether fun organizations or language organizations or political parties or newspapers or whatever, in Talossa; and
WHEREAS we don't quite remember them all; and
WHEREAS it would be cool to give organizations a cool standing in law;
THEREFORE the Ziu empowers His Majesty to issue Royal Charters officially founding any and all organizations within the Kingdom as follows:

This Charter will allow such organizations to use the Talossan name and image in accordance with the law. His Majesty may issue these Charters on request, and these Charters can be as pompous as His Majesty may desire. However, the lack of a Royal Charter will not affect an organization's right to exist unless specified in future law or by the Organic Law.

WHEREAS some confusion may arise on the definition of His Majesty's Cabinet; and
THEREFORE the Ziu resolves that the Cabinet is defined as composing all offices on the National level in the Kingdom, excluding the Monarch and his or her family, the Justices of the Uppermost Cort, and the Members of the Ziu acting as such. This includes all Ministers, Deputy Ministers, Envoys, Commission members, Governors, and Secretaries. Lastly, for the purposes of Seneschal control over the Cabinet, the Seneschal and the Opposition Leader possibly may not be considered members of the Cabinet

WHEREAS Root Beer, brand not specified, is the best carbonated beverage for perusal in the Kingdom of Talossa; and
WHEREAS the bubbles make my nose tingle; and
WHEREAS there is a groundswell of support to make Root Beer the Official Beverage of the RT;
THEREFORE the Ziu declares Root Beer, brand not specified, to be the Official Beverage of the Kingdom of Talossa.

WHEREAS the Kingdom is now almost as much Internet-based as "offline"-based; and
WHEREAS the Kingdom takes pride in this; and
WHEREAS in its pursuit of being online, most citizens use Microsoft products; and
WHEREAS the co-founder of Microsoft is the Venerable Paul Allen, even though he left the company during his illness; and
WHEREAS Paul Allen has recently shaved his *trademark* beard;
THEREFORE the Ziu censures Paul Allen for screwing with the computer karma of the Kingdom of Talossa by shaving his beard.

THE ZIU RESOLVES that, upon registration for each General Election, each party must name five (5) members who will definitely gain seats if the party wins them. The only exception will be for parties who have fewer than five (5) members. The Secretary of State will use his discretion to enforce this law for smaller parties.

WHEREAS it may be necessary to distinguish between Government-proposed bills, Opposition party bills, and Private Member's Bills, perhaps to bring forward manifesto policies or something;
THEREFORE if the Prime Minister or a member of the Government party proposes a bill, and with the PM's permission marks it as a Government Bill, the Clark will denote this as a bill proposed by "HM Government, represented by" the member. If the Opposition Leader, or a member of the Opposition proposes a bill, and with the OL or the member's Party Leader's permission marks it as an Opposition Bill, the Clark will denote this as a bill proposed by "HM Loyal Opposition, represented by" the member. Any other bill will be called a Private Member's Bill, and will be denoted in the Clark the same way they've always been. This is solely a "cosmetic" bill. Naturally the phrases about would be in the Clark in the Talossan Language. The Ziu asks our language gurus to help the SoS in the translation.

WHEREAS most public services and facilities (mainly in the areas of health, education, safety, and culture) in Talossan territory are already controlled by the government of the United States of America; and
WHEREAS the Kingdom of Talossa does not have the funds to replace these services by Talossan-controlled ones;
THEREFORE the Ziu recognizes, approves, and supports this aid from the United States government. In exchange for these sevices, Talossa will transfer the right of collecting taxes from Talossa's Cestoûr subjects and non-Cestoûr citizens living in the Kingdom's territory to the United States of America. However, the supposed suzerainty of the United States only applies to territories claimed by that nation. For any other area, e.g. Cezembre, all rights given to the United States in the above clause is given to the country that claims it. This Act applies to all Talossans territories, both in the present, and the future.

WHEREAS the Q, the Talossan FAQ, and the SFAC has been sitting in web space graciously provided by J.P. Griffin; and
WHEREAS J.P.'s own talossa.com front page has totally superseded the ol' Q, and he's done a bang-up job with it;
THEREFORE the Ziu thanks Mr. Griffin for hosting the sites as long as he has, and both authorizes and asks him to delete the Q, the FAQ, and the SFAC.

THE ZIU HEREBY enacts the following Law:

1. The sole representative of the Kingdom in sporting events on the international level will be the National Olympic Committee of the Kingdom of Talossa, or the CNORT.


2. The National Olympic Committee of the Kingdom of Talossa is a non-governmental organization operating in the Kingdom by law. It may set its own by-laws and membership. It may regulate the participation of the Kingdom in international sport.


3. The National Olympic Committee of the Kingdom of Talossa is governed by its own by-laws and by the Olympic Charter as amended by the International Olympic Committee.




3.1. The Kingdom of Talossa recognizes the International Olympic Committee as the sole representative of the Olympism on the international level and the sole owner of all trademarks relating to the Olympic Games.




4. His Majesty the King and the Right Honourable the Prime Minister are both ex officio members of the National Olympic Committee of the Kingdom of Talossa.


5. Major changes to the by-laws of the National Olympic Committee of the Kingdom of Talossa must be approved by the Ziu or the Prime Minister on its behalf.

THE ZIU HEREBY enacts the following Law:

1. The authority in the Kingdom to print and issue the currency and postal effects of the Kingdom is the Talossan Royal Bank & Post, or B&P, which will operating in the Kingdom by law and governed by its by-laws.


2. The ruling body of the Talossan Royal Bank & Post is an Executive Committee, presided over by a Chairman, and on which will sit ex officio the King and Prime Minister, among others chosen in accordance with the by-laws of the Talossan Royal Bank & Post.




2.1. The by-laws of the Talossan Royal Bank & Post will be proposed by the Executive Committee and approved by the Ziu or the Prime Minister acting on its behalf.



3. The Talossan Royal Bank & Post has full power to design, print, and issue the Talossan National Currency, the Ben, at the value of fifty-nine Ben to the U.S. Dollar. The Talossan National Currency may be sold by the Talossan Royal Bank & Post, at a value set by the Executive Committee. Any profit from the sale of the Talossan National Currency must return to the Kingdom.


4. The Talossan Royal Bank & Post has full power to design, print, and issue the any postal effects such as stamps. Postal effects may be sold by the Talossan Royal Bank & Post, at a value set by the Executive Committee. Any profit from the sale of postal effects must return to the Kingdom.


5. The Chairman of the Executive Committee of the Talossan Royal Bank & Post may be considered a member of the Cabinet if so chosen by the Government of the day.


6. Major changes to the by-laws of the Talossan Royal Bank & Post must be approved by the Ziu or the Prime Minister on its behalf.
   

WHEREAS the Ziu approves of the Opposition Leader Appointment Act; and
WHEREAS this act may in fact be deemed inorganic;
THEREFORE the Ziu authorises a referendum to change the Organic Law Artcile 11, Section 10 to read:
Art. XI:Sec. 10. Except at times when there are no members of the Cosâ who do not support the Government, there shall be a Right Honourable Leader of His Majesty's Loyal Opposition who shall be chosen by the members of the Opposition. He shall be the member of the Cosâ who, in the deliberate judgement of the opposition members, is best able to command support of a majority of those members who do not support the Government. The exact procedure of appointement shall be determined by law.

This referendum shall be carried out as soon as possible.